I am trying to write a novel–a romantic comedy. I am also taking online college classes, parenting a couple of extremely busy young children, am married, a sewist, and a part-time administrator/bouncer in an online discussion group, and at 12:43 AM tonight (or this morning) I am so tired I can’t even think straight. Excuse any grammatical errors or mixed metaphors that may crop up. I stayed up late working on my Intro to Psychology homework (and wrestling with my 2-year-old daughter who keeps getting up wandering around the house). The main reason I am going to college is so I can become a better writer. I am enjoying my classes and learning so much. Already, I feel like a more rounded person. I’m a significantly better writer than when I started, but…I just don’t have time to write about what I want to write about. I’m 14 pages into my story, 2 months after starting it. That’s an average of 1 page every 4 days. I could be writing in it now, instead of blogging in my obscure little blog, but my brain is fried. I figured writing it out might help me decompress.
Should I just put less time and effort in the classes that don’t matter as much to me, and use that time working on my book? Psychology is interesting, but I forgot the phraseology and terms almost instantly. Maybe I shouldn’t bother trying to cram things into my head that aren’t going to stay there. Maybe I should focus on my long-term goal of writing a book and do a half-assed job on some of my short-term goals when they get in the way. Really, what is so shameful about getting a “C”? I have earned “A’s” and “B’s” on all of my classes my first year. Those delicious little “A’s” and “B’s” are addicting, especially because I hardly ever saw them from the third grade through my (second) senior year in high school. But… if I settled for a “C” now and then, I could work on my story more. It’s not going to be some great work of fiction, I admit. I love to tell stories, but Jane Austen I am not. At best, it will be entertaining and amusing. Groundbreaking? Hardly. Predictable? Yes. Original plot? Don’t make me laugh. (Though in my defense, some diverting little quirks of character run through my story). Can I tie the vivid ideas that flit through my head into a cohesive whole? Somewhat. I don’t think I have creative genius, but I can churn out a pretty good imitation of it sometimes. I just want to see what I can do, publish it, do something better, publish that, and so forth.
So the moral dilemma is: Should I sacrifice learning all I can in some classes so I have more time and energy to write? Hmmm. Hmmm, hmmm, hmmmm.