I did it. I blew off class this week. I didn’t completely ditch it. I did all my assignments; I just did them in a half-assed way. It felt weird and I won’t be doing that again for a while, but… I got some great writing done in my book! It’s funny how it was so hard for me to pull my thoughts and references together for my psychology class, but the ideas for my story just flowed onto the paper–er, screen page. Of course, I’ll need to go back some time and add in descriptions and clean up the dialogue. Next week, I really will bust my butt and study. It’s just that this week has been so stressful, and immersing myself into my little make-believe world was the only thing that would do for me. We’ve had carpenters chipping and hammering away at our house for two noisy weeks now. This has stirred up all kinds of mold and dust, which I’m allergic to. I have an infected tooth that hurts like heck and comes out tomorrow. My son started his second year of preschool. Both my kids are on edge from all the construction on our house. My food allergies grew slightly worse and I developed an allergy to chocolate (which is so awful I can hardly bear to think of it). My car got backed into and was dealt some serious damage under the hood (fortunately the backer-into-er’s insurance will cover everything). My daughter woke up severaltimes in the night a couple times this week. So, it’sbeen a heck of a week.
I can’t believe how guilty I feel over disappointing my professor by not doing my best. However, I really should cut myself some slack. More than an “A” in psychology, I needed to write in my book. I felt so, so much better after I’d written those few pages. I really think it helped me maintain my sanity throughout all the chaos. And despite doing poorly academically, my husband and I got a lot of housework done, so that was also quite satisfying. I seriously doubt I could have gotten the housework and the writing done while giving school my all this week. So why do I still feel guilty about it?